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Testimonials
My Story by John S. February 21, 2006
I was a forklift operator before I became disabled. I have always worked. In the Vietnam era, I spent 2 1/2 years in the Coast Guard, so I know I was healthy. Now, I can't work because of high blood pressure, diabetes, along with severe depression. I have been diagnosed as having a condition known as bipolar, but I am now on medication, which has helped. I also go to counseling and am a consumer at the FCIL-DE.
My wife needed medication to help her function, but she wouldn't take it. So, she walked off her job as assistant-manager in a retail store. With the loss of her income, I had more pressure and couldn't cope with it. I had an angina attack at work and the doctor told me to stop working because it was too dangerous for me to handle heavy equipment.
In August 2001, I was denied a disability claim to Social Security. I reapplied but was refused a second time. By this time I was desperate because my bills were too high and I couldn't pay them. My utilities were shut off, and I had a high mortgage on the house I owned jointly with my wife. My wife and I separated and eventually divorced. I had to put my father in a nursing home, because although he had been living with me I couldn't take care of him anymore. Because my wife wouldn't cooperate to sell the house, I finally filed for bankruptcy. I ended up selling the house but only for a small sum. I just wanted to get rid of it.
I got enough money to go to Oregon where my mother lives. I hadn't known her since I was two years old, but I thought she could use my help with her sick husband. I left in April and returned to Delaware in September because my mother didn't want my help.
While I was in Oregon, I found a free clinic to help me with my medication needs; however, I wasn't properly supervised because I didn't have enough money to get to the doctor. I suffered memory loss for appointments, over-medicated sometimes, and under-medicated other times when I had medicine available. I forgot to eat which didn't help my diabetes, so I wasn't feeling well most of the time.
When I returned to Delaware, I suffered from deep depression and the psychiatrist diagnosed me as bi-polar. I went to counseling, but didn't like the doctor so I didn't go as much as I should have. I was frustrated. At this time, my father died, my wife divorced me and I got a DUI. I landed in jail, and realized what route I was taking. I was self-medicating, too, so I was in bad shape. I finally went to a mental health center and read all the symptoms of depression and mental health illness. They turned me away as a patient because I told them I was not suicidal, although I had thought about it a few times.
About this time, I became a recluse, not seeing anyone for about four months. The local church would drop off food, so I had food. My wife moved to Michigan and since my sons were grown, I had no one near me. That's when I had hit the lowest point, and that's when I found the Freedom Center for Independent Living, which saved my life.
I was walking down Main Street in Middletown when I saw the FCIL window sign. I thought I would just stop and ask if they knew how I could get some medical help. And it was the luckiest day of my life. Here, I not only found someone to talk to, but I received concrete help with all my problems.
Through peer counseling with the Independent Living Specialist, I was able to talk about my problems and come to terms with them. I was not functioning well at all, so I had to start from the bottom to come up. I was referred to Catholic Charities, and the Salvation Army for financial help. I applied for and received food stamps. I went back to Appoquinimink Social Services and was approved for disability and counseling services. I was on Welfare, but now will change over to SSDI.
I feel stronger and more confident to handle my individual needs. I'm not there, yet, but I'm working on my goals with the help and services of the FCIL-DE. I can get up in the morning and look forward to a good day. In years past, I couldn't get up because I was so overwhelmed by all the bad things happening to me.
It's a great relief to be approved for SSDI. I was able to change my goal because of financial assistance. I now rent my own place. I even have a girl friend that helped me when I was at the lowest point.
My goals now are:
- Someday buy waterfront property where I can hunt and fish.
- Continue my education: become a message or physical therapist.
- Get my GED or High School Diploma.
- Become a game warden or park ranger so I can be out in the woods with nature.
- Most of all, I need to remember to take my medication and eat properly.
When I come home at night, I know I'm not alone. I would tell anyone, who has need, to go to the Freedom Center for Independent Living and get help. They don't give financial assistance, but will refer you to the proper agencies to get the help you need. The people there are kind, compassionate, and willing to give time to you to hear your problems. What I found was hope and the knowledge I wasn't alone, but could go somewhere to get help.
The dark days are over, I hope, and I look forward to better times, thanks to the Delaware Freedom Center for Independent Living.
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Freedom Center for Independent Living
400 North Broad Street, Middletown, DE 19709 (302) 376-4399 1-866-OUR-FCIL
TTY: (302) 376-4397 FAX: (302) 376-4395 E-MAIL: info@fcilde.org |
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